I keep meaning to post my fancast/face claim/whatever of Sato and Yoshida from His Favorite / Aitsu no Daihonmei, and then not doing it.
So here’s an IOU on that.
Sato: Nishikido Ryō
Yoshida: Masahiro Usui
No actual human being could ever be as hot as Sato’s supposed to be, or match Yoshida’s elastic cartoon features, but I have about 8 matchups apiece that show these two guys come pretty close. I’ll make a post for Sato and one for Yoshida… eventually… and I also did a rundown of differences between the fan scanlations vs. the pro translations that I might share.
Could you explain the whole "i don’t really have depression, i’m actually just a lazy piece of shit" = you've got depression, thing? It rang a bell for me and I'd like to know what you meant. Thanks :)
one of the most insidious things about depression is it doesn’t ‘feel’ like depression. even when you have it, you know you have it, you’ve been diagnosed—you still find yourself thinking, no, nope, this isn’t it, can’t be. it’s like the mental illness equivalent of that knight in monty python that keeps going ‘it’s a flesh wound! i’m fine, really! this is just a scratch, i’ll be up in a moment!’ even after all his limbs have been hacked off and he’s lying there helpless.
one of the most common narratives around it is that no one realizes they have depression until they start checking off what they consider to be normal aspects of their lives—and personal character flaws— against the checklist for depression symptoms. really key symptoms include:
lack of motivation
constant tiredness, even exhaustion
finding no pleasure or satisfaction in activities they used to like, or that they know should feel good
not seeing the point of doing anything
increased and even unmanageable anxiety and fearfulness
any one of these symptoms drains away your ability to do work, cope with setbacks, overcome difficulties, or stop procrastinating. multiple symptoms create a pretty perfect storm of intertia and anxious self-loathing. you stop doing anything because it’s hard to get going, unpleasant while you’re at it, and afterwards there’s no reward. why bother, right? and when you’re always tired you get conservative of what little energy you can manage, and when you only feel emotions on the ‘empty to miserable’ spectrum you get really aversive to making mistakes. the whole mess very quickly and very insidiously loads every single thing in your life with toxic emotional baggage.
and then someone says to you— or you say to yourself, ‘stop being lazy’. and that haunts you forever. because you’re lazy! the work is so easy. everyone else does it. everyone but you, you lazy asshole, lying around all day not doing this totally easy thing that you should be able to but aren’t. you don’t have depression! of course not. mental illness is for victims, is for blameless innocent people who can’t be blamed for being so understandably sick. but you can be blamed. you have a character flaw, and it’s getting worse by the minute.
and that is how people who have been diagnosed, who have been medicated, who have been through therapy, can still spend all day hiding in bed and chewing themselves up over their failure to just somehow magically be a good, healthy, useful person, instead of treating themselves to a sick day and saying ‘yup! it’s depression. i need to be kind to myself.’
“And there it is. A nearly all-white crowd chanting to a nearly all-black crowd, “Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!” Contemporary racism encapsulated by an attempt to package it as support for the police, exposed by calls to shoot black men.
"i don’t really have depression, i’m actually just a lazy piece of shit" : a conclusion you come to pretty much weekly when you have depression
Then I remember, oh yeah, even though I have a pretty easy life, if I don’t take pills every day, I obsessively think about ways to kill myself and make it look like an accident, and that’s not a normal thing people do if they’re just a lazy piece of shit.
…This might be a good time to remind everyone that I tag with “warnings” and “trigger warning” in general, and few warning tags in particular. I do have a “suicide” tag and an “anti-depression” tag which I abuse to also address depression. And “dear diary” is for personal posts, which are usually whiny downers because see above re: depression.
“Sadly, brains do not have control-alt-delete.”
“It’d be nice if they did.”
“Then you could just see what processes are running.”
“Force quit, Anxiety! Force quit!”
“Trauma?! When did I open ‘Trauma’?”
I PROMISE you that every single depressed person has been told to exercise already, you are never ever ever going to be the first person to suggest that to any depressed person ever.
I got an elliptical and worked out every other day for over a year, building up stamina from 10-15 minutes to 30-60 minutes per session. For several months of that time, I tracked my moods.
Regular exercise had NO effect on my depression. None.
Nothing drives me crazier than people giving advice about depression like the same things will work for everybody. I’ve tried exercising faithfully. Nothing. I’ve changed my diet in various ways. Nothing. Kicked caffeine. Nothing. Went gluten-free. Nothing. Talk therapy. Nothing. Cognitive-behavioral therapy. Nothing. SAM-e, nothing. St. John’s Wort, nothing. Just about every other supplement that’s ever been recommended for depression. Nothing. Prozac and Effexor made me miserable. I’m on Wellbutrin and that kind of helps. That’s it. For 10 years.
Next person who tells me to exercise is going to get an elliptical wrapped around their neck.