Lots of juicy telepathy meta over there, and maybe I’ll dive into more of it later, but I just wanna make a point…
On the surface it does seem hypocritical that Erik and Raven are all “mutant and proud” but both forbid Charles to read their minds. BUT.
In Raven’s case, she grew up with Charles. She knew him when his powers were still developing. He was only 12 when they met. She had reason to worry that if he wasn’t making a concerted effort to avoid reading her mind, he might do more than just pick up her thoughts. Consider everything Charles is capable of. He can control people, alter their memories, change their minds— which obliterates the sense of self as we understand it. Put it this way. If you knew a 12 year old who was learning how to shoot a gun, even a very conscientious 12 year old you knew would never hurt you for the world, it would be reasonable if you were wary, and asked them not to use firearms in your presence. And it wouldn’t be surprising if you both stuck with that even as he got older and became an expert marksman, because that’s the way it’s always been and it’s been working fine.
Even putting that aside, Raven has a right to privacy. Where I think Raven is being unfair is that she expects Charles to understand her and relate to her when she’s barred him from using one of his senses with her. It’s like she told him never to look at her and then got upset he wasn’t responding to her facial expressions.
But that’s not a mistake Raven made on her own. Charles’s arrogance keeps him from seeing how little he’s actually able to understand Raven without his telepathy. He says, “Until recently, I never had to use my powers to know what you were thinking.” He’s assumed that he knows her well enough not to need telepathy to understand her, but he’s obviously wrong about that, and likely has been for a long time.
As for Erik, when he says “Then you know to stay out of my head,” he’s known Charles, and known about the existence of mutants and telepathy, for maybe a couple of days. He hasn’t really had time to think through the ramifications of these new concepts yet. Later, in the satellite scene, when Charles asks if he can read Erik’s mind, Erik allows it without question. He doesn’t ask why, or ask what Charles plans to do, or extract any promises about how Charles will use his powers. He just accepts it completely.
Erik putting on the helmet just before killing Shaw is a terrible thing to do— he’s relying on Charles to help him murder Shaw when he knows Charles is against it, and he shuts off the only connection they have to communicate during the act. But I think it should be acknowledged that he’s facing the person who killed his family and terrorized his adolescence and it’s understandable that he might not be at the summit of great judgement at that moment.
He’s still wearing it during the missile showdown, and when he chooses to do differently from what Charles says, Charles tackles him and immediately tries to get the helmet off him. I’m not saying Charles was wrong to do that, since hundreds of lives definitely hinged on the outcome, and the missiles landing could’ve started WW3. But from that moment on, Erik has good reason to wear that helmet whenever he opposes (or thinks he might oppose) Charles. He knows from experience that Charles has attempted to use his powers to alter Erik’s course of action, and has reason to think Charles would do it again. It’s not hypocrisy for him to wear the helmet after that any more than it’s hypocrisy for Charles to use a plastic wheelchair when he visits Magneto in prison.
Tl;dr both Raven and Erik make mistakes regarding Charles’s telepathy, but they don’t make them alone, there are mitigating circumstances, and it’s definitely not as black-and-white as the two of them saying ‘Mutant and proud, except for telepaths.’ That’s particularly unfair regarding Erik, who has at least one instance of complete acceptance of Charles’s telepathy, and relies on it with no apparent qualms (up until the fateful point of Shaw’s death) during XMFC’s final battle.